How To Master Your Goals by Turning "If" Into "When"

I have a confession to make: Until now, I've never written a successful blog. In fact, in the past I was pretty bad about setting and completing goals. There are several reasons for this, but today I want to focus on one of the most important concepts I've learned about achieving my dreams.

Words Have Incredible Power

Of course I already knew this. It wasn't so much a lesson LEARNED as a lesson REINFORCED at a time I needed the lesson the most.

You probably already understand the ways words have the power to hurt or to heal. They can either reinforce what we already know (through both praise or criticism) or they can plant the seeds of a new idea in our minds.

Have you ever experienced the power of suggestion? I have! When I was young, some boys in my neighborhood used to call my (rather slender) group of friends "da blimps," implying we were fat. (I developed younger than most girls of my generation, so in many ways they can be forgiven for seeing my "well-endowed" eleven-year-old body as "fat" at the time.)

Discouraged, I spent less time outdoors and ate more high-carb foods. One might argue I ate to comfort myself (and this might be the case) but the result was the same: Their words spoke their reality into being. I gained a LOT of weight by the time I reached fifteen.

As an adult, I discovered (with Leo's help) I could "talk myself healthy" when the flu went around. I'd use words to "suggest" to my mind that I am a healthy person who avoids bugs. To this day I get sick about one-third as often as other people in my life.

So I already knew words had power. 

The problem is I was using them ineffectively.

A change in your words can change your life!
(Source CC BY 2.0) 

I Changed My Words to Change My Thoughts

What you say will affect what you think. What you THINK will change how you FEEL. What you FEEL will change how you BEHAVE. How you BEHAVE will change your LIFE. 

I'm familiar with this concept, though it took me a LONG time to understand. Most people are rooted in their feelings and allow their feelings to control their thoughts. If, for example, you feel discouraged, you might allow the feeling of discouragement to control the way you think about the outcome. 

For me, this led to the "contingency plan." 

When I was young, I wanted to be an actress. I have the talent for it, and I had the drive for it. I decided I would go to college to study acting. My parents encouraged me to have a "backup" plan. over (a short) period of time, I became so discouraged I gave up on the idea of acting altogether and didn't go to college at all!

From this I learned the lesson to "always have a backup." The inner dialog went something like this:

"I want to create a blog which will inspire other people to live their best life and to try new things."

"But what if that doesn't work out?"

"Then I guess I can always stick to Hubpages."

This same inner dialog works in reverse. "If the blog works out, it could be a start to a business!" While this SOUNDS great, there's an interloper in this sentence. The word "if" is a distraction from the true purpose: To create a successful blog which reaches people and helps them improve their emotional well-being and create a successful life.

(My favorite, of my own bad habits, is actually "If I ever lose the weight..." This has put me in a rut I struggle to break out of.)

So I changed my words to change my thoughts.

"When I build a following on the blog, I'll be able to start thinking about speaking engagements and using my talents more!"

"When I lose the weight, I look forward to horseback riding!"

You Will Stick With What You Believe In

There are some things in my life I know outright. It's easy to think of these things in terms of  "when." For example, my family will be moving within the next few months. When I speak about this, I talk about "when we move" not "if we move." Moving is a certainty.

We have yet to find and apply for a new rental contract, however. This could be an uncertainty. "If we find a suitable home and get approved to live there." 

I have learned, however, it is better to treat the things I want as certain. "When we find the right house and sign the lease." 

When I replace the word "if" with the word "when" I eliminate the choice to fail. My mind is geared toward success. I have made a commitment to the venture and will pursue it until I succeed, even when I stumble along the way. 

When I make a mistake or fail to meet a goal, I will stand up, dust myself off, and get back to work because I KNOW my endeavor WILL succeed. 

That's the power of "when."

"When" And Universal Law (Of Attraction)

I already knew words had power. I've used this principle in conjunction with the Law of Attraction. "When" I finish this project and "when" I reach the Hubpages payout threshold every month. 

"When" is an agreement that something WILL happen. "If" is a suggestion that something COULD happen.

When it comes to getting the things I want, I know I would prefer the certainty than the suggestion. Wouldn't you? So I tell myself, the Universe, the Divine, and everyone I know what WILL happen rather than what COULD happen.

I am confident, and confidence is magical. Don't leave your future to uncertainty. Make sure your IFS become WHENS and you will change the way you think about your goals and the way you complete them.

When you change how you speak, you change how you think. When you change how you think, you change how you feel.
(Source CC BY 2.0)

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