Last week, I made a big mistake. I allowed myself to be influenced by shaming.
This is how it happened.
I was writing one of my weekly blog posts, and I referenced Morning Pages. In order to be more authentic and provide a reference for my readers, I provided the link to the original post about Morning Pages on Julia Cameron's website. Then, because I wanted to know as much as I could before I told you about this practice, I watched the video.
Oops.
I'm a pretty sensitive person. People who know me will note I've become less sensitive in recent years, but strange things still affect me. Shaming is at the top of the list of ways to make me either dig in my heels and be stubborn OR to get me to change the way I'm doing things. (It's unpredictable, though, so I wouldn't advise it.)
The worst part about shaming is I wind up feeling terrible about whatever I was shamed for. (For example, fat-shaming doesn't make me want to lose weight, it just makes me feel terrible about myself.)
In this case, Julia Cameron makes light of the New Age philosophy that a positive attitude begets a positive outcome. (Or maybe she didn't. I was so dismayed by the premise that it's better to complain than to vent positivity that I shut down. I admit it.)
I wound up on the defensive. My defense mechanism was the weird need to try to do it the "right" way: The way Julia Cameron taught it ought to be done.
It. was. a. BUST.
I tell you, I felt like garbage for the rest of that Thursday.I might have mentioned this in my Friday Recap.
Except that I inadvertently repeated the "experiment" on Saturday. Though I can't remember what it was now (clearly it wasn't particularly important), I filled three pages with a single complaint. Needless to say, I spent the rest of Saturday miserable.
For me, "venting" this way doesn't get things off my chest. To the contrary, it gets me worked up and I can't stop the vicious cycle of anger and anxiety.
I'm going to commit to at least one page (minimum) focused on goals, desires, wishes, and hopes. (I "commit" rather than "try to write" because "try" leaves me with the excuse not to follow through. This is on my list of topics to talk about!)
Daily complaining of this magnitude wasn't healthy for me. It MIGHT be for you.
My word is NEVER law, but in this one case it is important to note that people work differently. What doesn't work for me works well for Michelle. What works for me leaves her irritable and tired.
When it comes to your journal, you have to find your own path. I only hope to be useful in sharing my experiences with you. If three pages of complaints do NOT make you happier, you should try three pages of hopeful dreaming.
Remember, you're the one in control.
I wanted to bring this up to you because I think the topic of complaints is important, especially when we're attempting to manifest something. I've noticed two things about the twenty-first century. First, people in the First World complain about things people in the Third World would love to worry about. Second, there has been a philosophical shift toward gratitude.
(This has always existed, and goes back at least as far as the philosophies of the Hebrew scriptures. It's only more prevalent now).
Complaint has its place: It has value. When you call the company because the manager said they used latex in the kitchen, but you have a latex allergy, this is a VALID COMPLAINT. When you complain because it's cold outside for the third day this week, it is unproductive and it sets your mind into a negative pattern of emotion, perhaps for an entire day.
I fall back on the Serenity Prayer:
I'm curious: If you use your morning journal to vent your complaints, how do you feel throughout the rest of the day? Does it act as a "mind dump" for you and therefore clear your thoughts? Or do you hold onto that bitterness throughout the day, as I do?
If you enjoyed this post, don't forget to like, pin, and share it with your friends! You can follow my Facebook Page or use the comments to join in the discussion!
This is how it happened.
I was writing one of my weekly blog posts, and I referenced Morning Pages. In order to be more authentic and provide a reference for my readers, I provided the link to the original post about Morning Pages on Julia Cameron's website. Then, because I wanted to know as much as I could before I told you about this practice, I watched the video.
Oops.
 |
| What I write in my morning journal stays with me throughout the day. (Source CC BY 2.0) |
I'm a pretty sensitive person. People who know me will note I've become less sensitive in recent years, but strange things still affect me. Shaming is at the top of the list of ways to make me either dig in my heels and be stubborn OR to get me to change the way I'm doing things. (It's unpredictable, though, so I wouldn't advise it.)
The worst part about shaming is I wind up feeling terrible about whatever I was shamed for. (For example, fat-shaming doesn't make me want to lose weight, it just makes me feel terrible about myself.)
In this case, Julia Cameron makes light of the New Age philosophy that a positive attitude begets a positive outcome. (Or maybe she didn't. I was so dismayed by the premise that it's better to complain than to vent positivity that I shut down. I admit it.)
I wound up on the defensive. My defense mechanism was the weird need to try to do it the "right" way: The way Julia Cameron taught it ought to be done.
It. was. a. BUST.
 |
| My morning journal sets the tone for the rest of the day. (Source CC BY 2.0) |
I tell you, I felt like garbage for the rest of that Thursday.
Except that I inadvertently repeated the "experiment" on Saturday. Though I can't remember what it was now (clearly it wasn't particularly important), I filled three pages with a single complaint. Needless to say, I spent the rest of Saturday miserable.
For me, "venting" this way doesn't get things off my chest. To the contrary, it gets me worked up and I can't stop the vicious cycle of anger and anxiety.
I'm going to commit to at least one page (minimum) focused on goals, desires, wishes, and hopes. (I "commit" rather than "try to write" because "try" leaves me with the excuse not to follow through. This is on my list of topics to talk about!)
Daily complaining of this magnitude wasn't healthy for me. It MIGHT be for you.
My word is NEVER law, but in this one case it is important to note that people work differently. What doesn't work for me works well for Michelle. What works for me leaves her irritable and tired.
When it comes to your journal, you have to find your own path. I only hope to be useful in sharing my experiences with you. If three pages of complaints do NOT make you happier, you should try three pages of hopeful dreaming.
Remember, you're the one in control.
I wanted to bring this up to you because I think the topic of complaints is important, especially when we're attempting to manifest something. I've noticed two things about the twenty-first century. First, people in the First World complain about things people in the Third World would love to worry about. Second, there has been a philosophical shift toward gratitude.
(This has always existed, and goes back at least as far as the philosophies of the Hebrew scriptures. It's only more prevalent now).
Complaint has its place: It has value. When you call the company because the manager said they used latex in the kitchen, but you have a latex allergy, this is a VALID COMPLAINT. When you complain because it's cold outside for the third day this week, it is unproductive and it sets your mind into a negative pattern of emotion, perhaps for an entire day.
I fall back on the Serenity Prayer:
 |
| Can I change it? If I can, I should. If I can't, I should let it go. Complaint is most useful when complaining can solve the problem. (Source) |
I'm curious: If you use your morning journal to vent your complaints, how do you feel throughout the rest of the day? Does it act as a "mind dump" for you and therefore clear your thoughts? Or do you hold onto that bitterness throughout the day, as I do?
If you enjoyed this post, don't forget to like, pin, and share it with your friends! You can follow my Facebook Page or use the comments to join in the discussion!
I don't do Morning Pages, but I know when I vent, I tend to still focus on it the rest of the day.
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